As much as I love getting advice, every now and then I get the urge to take all that information, chuck it out the window, and do it my way (which, unfortunately for my rebellion, usually turns out to be the way many many mothers before have figured). In other words, I much prefer getting advice when I ask for it, not when I am perfectly fine (and not asking). I am not completely begrudging here random strangers who come up to me offering advice or a comment; even though I can be rather touchy, I understand that they are just intrigued or trying to be kind and helpful. It is just that I sometimes get tired of constantly accepting advice. (isn't that okay?)
While shopping in Target one day with the twins, a dad stopped me and asked for any helpful tips because he and his wife were expecting a baby any day, and they already had an 18 month old. Ah, I had no idea what to tell him. Nap them simultaneously, take time for yourself, accept help from others, etc etc etc...I am sure they knew all of this, that their minds already had become a storage place for the piles and piles of help thrown in their direction, that they were like advice addicts. I should have said something ground-breakingly important about schedules. But all I could do was give him a look of true anxiety, fake a smile, and say, "You will both be fine." Here, someone was actually asking, wanting, craving a tidbit of help, but really, what else could I say?
Because they will be fine. I had my twins, I fed, burped, soothed, changed, napped, and played with them both, and it was tiring and tough and easy and hard. But it's all you know, and so you just do it. Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that it is okay if their naps are not in sync, or one is walking before the other one is even crawling, or they play in their cribs and not the living room when guests are over (or vice versa! do whichever one shocks them the most). Manuals galore give outstanding tricks, but really, all you need is a good head on your shoulders, and you can figure it out. It might take a while to figure out that you can do this on your own, and that's okay too. A little breathing room, trial and error, these are necessary for becoming a good mom. You and the babies (or baby!) really will be fine.
This morning while reading articles on parenting (I know, and after all that schmucking), I ran across these great (and totally real) tips from
babble.com for mothers of twins. Here are just a few, three that I do/did, and they are the ones I want to be able to have ready if anyone ever asks again.
